I'm Struggling In Life

Says he was abused as a child (~age 5), never recovered, and that the abuse affected his understanding of sex; confesses he repeated things done to him with younger people, including his nephew and other girls - 'I have sexually harmed younger people... I'm not saying this to excuse what I did.

I'm saying it because I didn't understand myself.' Apologizes to his girlfriend: 'you were actually my first girlfriend'; admits he kept patronizing prostitutes while with her and feared infecting her.

Says therapy costs money so he stopped; believes he is talented and could make money if consistent, but keeps failing and returning to the same vices. 'I don't want to die. That's the truth.' (post continues)