Let us be honest about something because I think we have started misunderstanding what rejection actually means. If someone approaches you for a date, a relationship, sex or anything romantic and you said no, you have every right to reject them. At the same time, the person you rejected has every right to accept your answer and remove himself from the situation: he can stop calling, stop replying, or even block you if staying in contact makes it harder to move on, and eventually find somebody else.
None of these automatically means he cannot handle rejection. Sometimes handling rejection is exactly that: accepting the rejection and moving on. A friend told me about a guy who admired her; he asked her out twice over months and she refused both times, and about 2 months later he had a new girlfriend. When she heard, she became angry: 'But I told him I needed time. Is that why he stopped replying to my messages?'
She discovered he had even blocked her, and concluded he could not handle rejection. I asked: 'What exactly do you think handling rejection means?' I never got an answer. If you tell a guy you are not interested, what is he supposed to do - remain emotionally available while you decide whether you might change your mind? There is nothing wrong with genuine friendship after rejection; the problem is when 'let us just be friends' really means 'I do not want a relationship with you, but I still want your attention, validation, emotional support and availability.'
Some people enjoy being wanted even when they do not want the person back. Maybe he only wanted your body, but you still said no - why should he remain interested after you told him you are not interested? Rejecting someone is not disrespectful; moving on after rejection is not disrespectful. Harassing, insulting or threatening someone for saying no is when it becomes disrespectful.
Your 'no' should be respected, but my decision to leave should also be respected. Sometimes the person who disappears after you reject them is not bitter - they have simply understood the assignment. Dey your dey. I go dey my dey. 46 Likes 3 Shares.
