I am not one for sharing my family problems on the internet, but I really have to share this on Nairaland so that some men can learn a thing or two and for you guys to advise me, because I am totally in the worst emotional state right now due to a serious problem within my family that had barely started. This is going to be a really lengthy read; bear with me. I got acquainted with a lady towards the end of March last year, 2025.
Prior to that time I had decided that it was time to settle down and start my own family, so we started talking and getting to know each other and it grew into a relationship shortly afterwards. The greatest mistake I made, and I wish for any man reading this to avoid it at all cost, was that I ignored the fact that she was a single mother; she said her baby daddy was very abusive physically and gave her several wounds on her body with different weapons for no reason, that she'd never cheated on him and never disrespected him, and that he had never bought her anything as a gift as he was unemployed throughout their entanglement and never gave her money for her upkeep.
Second red flag was that she is uneducated (didn't even sit for WAEC); thirdly, she has no real marketable skill and was only working as a lowly-paid salesperson in a clothing shop. Though I was a little concerned at first - wondering how I would end up marrying an uneducated, skill-less single mother - I shrugged it off because she seemed well-behaved and meek, which are qualities I cherish in a potential wife, and that those would make up for the shortcomings.
I was totally wrong about her character as she has since displayed her true self and shown that she was playing chameleon all along. At the initial stage she was all over me, putting pressure on me to take the relationship to another level; she always wanted to visit me every day, and any time she wanted to come to my apartment and I told her I wasn't around she would be very sad and even suspect I didn't want her to come or perhaps had another girl over; sometimes she would just show up unannounced at my apartment.
She never gave me the chance to think about the whole thing - I hate to admit she bamboozled and hoodwinked me. I asked her the business or trade she wanted to do so I could set it up for her; I made a lot of suggestions and she turned them all down, saying the skill she really had was culinary skill and that she wanted something like a restaurant or bar where she could sell food and drinks.
I am a great cook and by my assessment she isn't really a good cook, and I didn't like the idea of my wife doing such a business - she was fixated on the restaurant/bar idea which I vehemently stood against. So in the meantime around May last year we both agreed she should stop the lowly-paid job, while we gave serious thought to the best-fit business; I was the one footing virtually all her bills, giving her money regularly for her upkeep and that of her son - the worst mistake of my life as the current situation has proven. [Story continues in thread]
