Actress and media personality Bolanle Olukanni has shared the hurtful statement a man once made to her during a date. In a video posted on her Instagram page, She said: "I once went on a date with a man who said straight to my face that the fact that my father only had girls made him a weak man. He didn't hesitate; he said it straight to my face. And you know, it's something I think about, not because it hurts my feelings, but because of how casual he said it.
Like it wasn't even a wrong opinion, just something that was true about the world. And that's what gets me. Because nobody sat him down one day and taught him that directly. Nobody said sons are proof of strength and daughters are consolation prizes. He probably picked it up the way most of us pick up things: from a joke, from an aunty who said, 'Oh, are you still trying for a boy?'
From parents who maybe announced the birth of a son differently than daughters. And many boys grow up watching their own fathers' faces light up differently towards their sons than their daughters. You watch your grandmother who prays specifically for a boy to carry the name. Nobody is going to say girls are worthless out loud, especially in this day and age. Nobody will say that.
But a child will learn these things, they'll feel it, they'll grow up, and they'll repeat it. And they will call it tradition instead of what it actually is, which is the fact that it is an archaic old mindset. So, if we really want the next generation to think differently, it actually starts earlier than what we think. It starts with our children: the boy child hearing that their worth is just the same as the daughter. Your sister and you are equal."
