Some Nigerians say they still remember hurtful things their parents said to them while growing up.
From being called “stupid” to being told they should have died instead of a sibling, Nigerians share the most painful things their parents have ever said to them.
Nigerians share painful things their parents said to them
Some say the words affected how they saw themselves growing up
From insults to rejection, these are the things they still remember
Nigerian parents are known for having a comeback for almost everything. There is always a poetic insult hiding somewhere inside a proverb, a sarcastic remark, or that one sentence/facial expression designed to make a child behave immediately.
But there is a difference between a parent saying, “You will not kill me,” in the heat of an argument and telling a child something that stays with them long after the argument is over.
And in Nigeria, the line between “discipline” and harm can sometimes become dangerously blurred.
A 2023–2025 Nigeria MICS Plus survey by UNICEF and the National Bureau of Statistics found that 84% of children aged 5–14 had experienced at least one form of violent discipline in the month before the survey. Seventy per cent experienced psychological aggression, including being shouted at or called offensive names.
Some of what we casually dismiss as “African parenting” is not harmless simply because it happens in many homes.
Nigerian singer Spyro recently offered a painful reminder of this. Speaking about his childhood, he said his father’s beatings left marks on his body that are still visible more than 20 years later.
Nigerian singer Spyro | Instagram
He also recalled being publicly accused of stealing and said some of his father's words made him see himself as a failure and feel useless.
Nigerian actor Charles Born also spoke about growing up with words that stayed with him. In a 2026 interview, he alleged that his father repeatedly told him he was “useless” and that he would “never amount to anything”. He also described being physically punished as a child.
Nigerian actor Charles Born
Their stories are a reminder that children do not necessarily leave childhood experiences behind just because they grow up. Sometimes, they take the words with them.
That is what makes some of the responses we received when we asked Nigerians to share the most hurtful thing a parent had ever said to them so difficult to read.
These were not simply complaints about strict parents or childhood punishments. People remembered being told they were cursed, useless or stupid. Some were made to feel responsible for things that were never their fault.
"I've been suffering since I gave birth to you"
Some Nigerians say they still remember hurtful things their parents said to them while growing up.
My biological mother told me she has been suffering since she gave birth to me and cursed me. She said, 'You'll suffer till you die”.
“I should have killed you while birthing you."
I refused to do chores once, and my mom said, “I should have closed my legs when I was pushing you out so you wouldn't survive."
“I know you are the one who made me lose so many babies after you."
One day I scolded our lastborn so much because he did something wrong, and my mother said to me, “I know you are the one who made me lose so many babies after you. Please, don’t kill this one for me."
She said this because she gave birth to him 9 years after my birth. We are just 3 kids. Something broke in me that day, and I never really healed.
A sick child
I had tuberculosis and acute malaria and was bedridden for weeks. My dad, who didn't even show up for one day, called my mum (not knowing it was on speaker phone) to ask if I was still alive. I was just 10 years old. Anyway, sha, I still dey alive.
When I was down with cholera, my father told everyone I had HIV/AIDS. Why would anyone do that to a kid?
My parents called me ‘stupid’ a lot growing up
My parents called me “stupid” a lot of times growing up. It took me a long time to think I'm not really stupid. I felt stupid growing up.
Some Nigerians say they still remember hurtful things their parents said to them while growing up.
My parents denied me University Education after finishing my N.C.E.; they told me they’d rather sponsor my siblings instead of me. They told me to sort myself out. I started teaching in a private school till I was able to raise funds for my university education.
It took me 3 years. All my Siblings are University graduates; in fact, my immediate brother bagged his degree before me. Guess who's taking care of the parents today? Me.
My dad never accepted me because I was a girl
As the firstborn, my father never accepted me because I was a girl. He wanted a boy and treated me like a bastard child. I can’t even begin to count the hurtful things he said to me.
My mom, on the other hand, was always there for me. I didn’t feel the pain as much because at some point, I left home to stay with my grandma until she passed away.
Some Nigerians say they still remember hurtful things their parents said to them while growing up.
My mum would call me a prostitute whenever I reported any boy disturbing me to her. I always wondered why she was so angry and frustrated when I was growing up. Now I'm in my 30s, and she expects us to be besties.
My mum told me never to smile, that my teeth were the colour of our door. Our door was brown. I actually stopped smiling until recently, when I discovered that healthy teeth aren't always pure white.
I used you for practical purposes; your whole childhood was an experiment so that I would know how to raise your siblings. I still suffer from an inferiority complex and depression.
“When your sister died, I wish it was you.”
Other painful things Nigerian parents have said
Some Nigerians say they still remember hurtful things their parents said to them while growing up.
“The devil has tried to frustrate me in so many ways, and you're the only one who worked.”
My mom said God used me to wash her womb for her beautiful children to come out.
My dad compared me to a prostitute for using a lip combo.
Thank God I gave birth to your siblings; otherwise, I would have counted myself barren.
If you die, there's space in the backyard to bury you. I fell sick.
My foster parent said, “You are a cursed and useless child.” That's why your father abandoned you.
Not every harsh word is abuse, but repeated insults, rejection and cruel statements can leave wounds that are just as real as physical ones.
In a country where shouting, name-calling and emotional cruelty are often dismissed as “normal parenting”, these stories remind us that being a parent is not just about providing food, shelter and school fees. It is also about creating a home where children feel safe, valued and loved.
While children may forget many things from growing up, they often remember the words that made them feel small.
