There’s something I’ve been thinking about seriously, and I feel I need to handle it carefully.
I have a girl I’m currently dating who has been staying with me. I had actually told her that she should go and come rather than make my place her permanent home.
Earlier this year, when her rent was due, she asked if she could move her things to my place. I said no at the time because I already knew that situations like this could eventually arise. Instead, I decided to assist her with part of her rent. The interesting thing is that the room is still available and currently has no occupant.
However, now that she is staying with me, whenever I bring up the issue of her going back to her place, she tends to avoid the discussion. Honestly, I’m getting tired of the situation, and at this stage, I feel confused about how best to handle it.
I have deliberately avoided using force or speaking harshly to her because I do not want to hurt or disrespect her. A friend even advised me to use force since she has been unwilling to leave, but I do not believe that is the right approach. I would rather handle the matter calmly and respectfully.
I have also tried to explain to her that asking her to return to her place does not mean that I am avoiding her or ending the relationship. I even suggested that she could come and stay with me at least three times a week, so that we could still spend time together while maintaining separate homes. My intention is to create some healthy space, not to reject her or make her feel unwanted.
At this stage of my life, I feel I need to be very intentional about marriage and the woman I eventually settle down with. I don’t want circumstances, convenience, or the fact that someone is already living with me to pressure me into settling for a relationship I’m not completely sure about.
The situation has also affected other potential relationships I was considering before now, and some of them have ended because of her presence in my life.
I care about her, but I also feel that I need some space and clarity to properly evaluate the relationship and decide whether she is genuinely the person I want to build my future with. I don’t think it is right for me to simply continue with the current arrangement because it has become convenient or difficult to change. At the same time, I want to resolve the situation peacefully, without force, insults, or unnecessary conflict.Those who had been in similar situation please how did you handle it?
