Since childhood I have always being a forgetful, hyperactive and talkative person, no matter how hard I tried to control this condition and worst of it is am a very disorganized and overly emotional person no matter how hard I try to control this weakness it was to no avail it seems that just who I am.
It has attracted so much criticism as a child that it destroyed my childhood because I lost my mom at the age of 7 she was our bread winner, so my family scattered up after her death so I went to live with my uncle and this condition really severed my relationship with my uncle's family because I was brought there to serve as a houseboy.
I couldn’t live up to expectation as a houseboy I was also losing money when I am sent to market, I always forget what I was sent to buy so the insult on me was on a daily basis.
I was a victim of verbal abuse for 3 years until it destroyed my self esteem totally, omo life has really being unfair to me I sometimes I regret being born into this cruel world.
The worst part of my life was my teenage years, I lacked self esteem and suffered severe inferiority complex. I was a totally withdrawn teenager I always compared myself to my peers and saw myself as shit, nobody understood me, not even my family, they were even my worst critics.
But all in all I believe I would have a better adulthood but that was a lie.
I am an adult now in my early 30s and experience and exposure has taught me a lot and I have improved my self esteem and feel a lot better about myself to some extent but I notice that those traits still persist. I am still a forgetful, talkative and restless person.
One day, I was scrolling through the TikTok pages and I discovered a video talking about the mental condition ADHD and it described my condition a 100 percent, that was the first time I knew I had a mental condition not normal.
It has affected my relationship with people. The way I communicate and express myself was bad i have become a forced introvert and forced to stay alone because they wouldn’t like my personality.
I discovered it doesn’t have cure so I feel suicidal. I wish death could just take me soon so I can get some eternal peace I don’t even care about eternity or reincarnation I just wanna fade off into oblivion.
