Forgiveness is not for the weak-minded, neither is it for the faint-hearted. It takes a lot from the heart to forgive people, especially when their actions cut deep. So guys, there’s this person I’ve known for years. I see him as a friend turned brother. I’ve always looked out for him in difficult moments. I even got him the job he was working until he was sacked early this month.
Ordinarily, a kind-hearted person would have appreciated the help and the connection that got him the job, especially after receiving his first salary. A gift or even a token of appreciation would have been fine, but he never did. I didn’t ask either. Initially, he lied to me about his salary. He said it was ₦130,000. I later found out from the same person who helped me get him the job that his salary was actually ₦180,000.
I didn’t confront him about it. Last month, I needed to do a quick registration for an educational scholarship I was offered. I got the mail on Friday night and had just three days to accept by paying a stipend of less than ₦15,000. The offer came at a time when I wasn’t financially buoyant, and with a 3-day ultimatum, the slot would be given to someone else. For reference, it’s the Tech4Africans Cohort 9 Scholarship for the Cybersecurity track, the 9th edition.
It’s a 95% scholarship sponsorship awarded to 2,500 recipients across 45+ African countries. I was selected. Because of the urgency, I called this guy and explained the situation. I also told him work was suspended at my end due to the rainy season, and promised to reimburse him once I sorted things out. Excitedly, he said I was lucky because he had just been paid that same day.
He asked me to call him the next morning, so he could send the money. I did. He disappointed me, saying the money had been budgeted on something else. I just smiled, thanked him, and ended the call. I reached out to one or two other people, but got no response. I dislike pressure, so I let it go. Life has to go on. Unfortunately, he was sacked from work early this month due to issues that had been building up.
The company could no longer tolerate his attitude. As his guarantor, I was informed but not by him. I felt bad for him. Losing a job right now in Nigeria isn’t something anyone should experience. The bills are endless. I didn’t contact him about it. I told myself, if he wants me to know, he’ll tell me. Early last week, I had just gotten home when he called saying he wanted to see me.
"I hope all is well?" I asked. "Not really," he replied. I told him to come to my place. The next day he visited. I entertained him well so he’d know I wasn’t starving. I already knew why he had come but pretended not to. Some people only remember you when they’re in trouble. He explained everything that happened at work and his sack. He also apologized for not being able to help me.
I told him it was fine. It’s all in the past. I encouraged him to be hopeful for another job. At this last weekend, he was at my place to seek for some help. After he told me his mom was sick, I got some drugs for her. I was able to help, not because I have everything, but even when I had little to nothing, I showed concern. I may have lost an opportunity, but that shouldn’t define who I am or change who I’ve been.
Sometimes we may choose not to treat people the way they deserve, especially when they’ve treated us bad. If we pay them back in the same way, we become no different from them. Forgiving a hurt doesn’t come easy, but true freedom comes from letting go.
