Man, I don’t know what to feel right now. Well, for a start: never let a woman talk you into having a child unless you are financially ready and capable—not just of having a child, but of dealing with a respectful person and choosing the right mother for your child. Not all relationships lead to marriage, and not every woman you sleep with must have your child. That’s a very important point.
Well, I’m dealing with a woman whose disrespect I find so disturbing. We’ve been at loggerheads over who should get custody of the child ever since our separation, but she’s still adamant and keeps adding more insult to the situation. I’ve been doing well providing for my child’s monthly needs, yet she complains that it’s not enough and talks down on my efforts to provide. She adds insults to some of her requests, and I find that really annoying.
Because of this, I made sure I didn’t provide financial assistance this month. I’m standing firm on getting custody of the child. If she’s tired of taking care of her, she can bring her to me. But this lady is very stubborn and annoying. No wonder we didn’t end up together—she might trigger me into an abusive state, and I don’t want that for my peace of mind. That’s more reason I chose separation, and we aren’t married either.
I somehow feel guilty about the situation, leaving my child in circumstances that might put her in a bad state regarding her food, meds, and care. But I have no choice at this point, because I work very hard and the job takes a toll on me. All those sacrifices are being met with disrespect and blame, so I’ve chosen to stop and focus on brighter means that will give me the financial freedom I truly seek—instead of suffering out there in this country and getting no gains.
Worst still, I can’t monitor the growth of my child personally, and she uses the situation to gaslight me a lot. I want that child to be with me before I can take up her responsibilities and take good care of her. But while she’s in the hands of her mother, I feel no emotion in sacrificing my energy out there anymore just to provide. I’m not irresponsible—I just hate her mom. I hope I’m not being selfish here. 😓
