One thing society rarely wants to admit is how much women actually care about a man's physical appearance.
We have spent years telling men that women are mainly interested in money, stability, character and personality while men are the ones obsessed with beauty. Yet go into an ordinary Nigerian dating environment and start listening to what women actually discuss.
“Is he tall?” “Is he fine?” “Does he have a nice face?” “What is his complexion?” “Is he well built?” “Imagine having children with him. They will be fine.”
Women notice these things. They compare them. They discuss them. They even think about how a man's physical features might be passed on to their children.
So when people say women don't care about looks, I honestly wonder what they mean.
The difference is that society has made male attraction to beauty so obvious that nobody bothers to deny it, while women's attraction is sometimes presented as though a man's face, height, body and overall appearance are almost irrelevant.
They are not.
A woman can see a tall, handsome man with good skin, a good physique and a confident presence and immediately notice him before she knows what is in his bank account.
Money can become important later. Character can become important later. Compatibility can become important later.
Physical attraction often comes first because you cannot negotiate yourself into finding somebody attractive.
Even the conversation about children reveals how deeply appearance matters. People will say things like, “Look at his complexion,” “His children will be fine,” or “Imagine the children these two will have.” We pretend this is just harmless conversation, but it is literally people thinking about physical traits and genetic inheritance.
So let's stop acting as though only men are visual creatures. Men care about women's beauty. Women care about men's appearance too. The difference is often in how openly each side is willing to admit it.
Nobody should feel guilty for finding a physically attractive person attractive. The important thing is simply to stop pretending that one sex is driven by looks while the other is somehow above all of that.
We are human beings. Looks matter to both sides. Money matters to both sides. Character matters to both sides.
The proportions may differ from person to person, but pretending that women don't notice a handsome man is just as unrealistic as pretending men don't notice a beautiful woman.
