Abeg make una read this story before you help anybody for Lagos oh! Yesterday around 5 PM, I dey drive pass Ikeja Along, road block, traffic dey hold everybody down. Suddenly, one fine girl with heavy makeup, wearing designer bag, run come hit my car window dey cry bitterly. She say her phone don die, her bag money stolen, and her mother dey hospital for Yaba need emergency 20k for admission.
Me as a born-again gentleman, my soft heart move. I tell her make she enter car make I drop her for Yaba since I dey head towards mainland anyway. As she enter front seat, she say: "God go bless you sir! Abeg load 2k airtime for my line first make I call the doctor." I drop my iPhone 15 for dashboard, bring out small button phone make I transfer VTU airtime give her. Before I count 1, 2, 3...
This girl open my dashboard, carry my iPhone, open door, jump out of moving car for inside traffic, come scream with full power: "THIEF! HOLD AM! HE WAN KIDNAP ME!" My eye turn red! Crowd for Ikeja Along—area boys, Okada riders, hawkers—everybody just pack heavy 2x4 planks and iron rods, surround my car immediately. One area boy with red eye hit my bonnet: "Wetin you wan do the girl?!
Complain!" I wan die! I drop from car dey shiver, dey shout: "No be so oh! Na my phone she thief!" The girl dey cry for ground like person wey dem wan sacrifice, dey shout: "He tell me say if I no enter him car, him go use my destiny!" At this point, three guys don pull off dem belt, ready to beat me to stupor. Inside that confusion, my village people spirit just tell me make I use my brain.
I look the girl, smile, enter my car, pull out my small button phone, press the speaker, and loudly call my wife line (wey I save as "DPO Ikeja Police Station". I loud the volume make everybody hear: "Hello DPO sir! I don catch the female suspect for Ikeja Along! The squad wey you send behind me don arrive?" Before I finish sentence, you need to see how the girl jump up from ground like person wey stepping on hot coal!
She drop my iPhone for floor, throw her own wig away, remove her high heels, and start to run sprint pass Usain Bolt! The same area boys wey wan beat me before, turn around look me, look the girl dey run, come tell me: "Oga, your actor skill too high! Give us 500 Naira make we chase am for you!"
Moral of the story:
Always save your wife number as DPO! It can save your life!
