If you are dating someone in Abuja or Lagos, please make sure you know the person you are planning to marry beyond what you see on WhatsApp and social media.
Some people have been in relationships for years without knowing their partner's family, childhood friends or real background. You may know where she works, where she lives and her favourite restaurant, but have you ever met anyone who genuinely knew her before you came into the picture?
Imagine marrying a woman only to discover that the people she introduced as her family members were not actually related to her. Stranger things have happened, and I have heard accounts that make you wonder how well people really know the person they are dating.
Of course, living far from family does not automatically make someone suspicious. Some people are estranged from their relatives, have difficult family histories or simply live independent lives. The concern is deliberate deception, not distance from family.
There is another issue men should not ignore. If you are considering marriage, you need an honest conversation about your partner's current lifestyle, relationship status, sexual health and expectations for fidelity. Do not assume that someone has abandoned a previous lifestyle simply because they now talk about marriage.
Imagine marrying someone who secretly continues a business or relationship that directly violates the agreement you both made about fidelity. Your home could become a place of deception rather than the peaceful family life you hoped to build.
Bro, love someone, but use your head too.
Meet the people who genuinely know your partner. Ask reasonable questions about their background. Observe whether their stories remain consistent. Discuss finances, children, faith, fidelity and the kind of marriage you both want. Give the relationship enough time for trust to develop, and pay attention when credible inconsistencies arise.
Do not marry a social media profile. Marry a person you have taken the time to know.
One more thing: rushing into marriage because you fear getting older can be just as dangerous as delaying it indefinitely. The goal is not to marry before everyone else. The goal is to choose wisely.
As for the person who inspired this post, Raf Keyz, this one might be your department. Come and defend yourself!
Gentlemen, have you ever discovered something shocking about a partner's background after becoming serious about marriage? What checks do you think are reasonable before committing to someone?
